When someone wrongs us, we focus our attention on the transgression and the harm it has caused. In order to forgive, how do we remove the wedge that has gotten embedded in our connection and risks future separation? How do we disarm the explosion, forgiving the guilt of a sin so that it can be addressed without causing further harm? How can we detach someone’s sin from them as the transgressor, as far as east is from west?
The Bible instructs us clearly and extensively on how and why we should forgive. We ought to forgive just as God has forgiven us in Christ. Paul breaks down a few of the active components: “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do” (Col. 3:12-13). Here, Solvents such as mercy, kindness, and humility use God’s love to loosen the grip and dirt of sin.
But forgiveness isn’t a period; it’s an ellipse. A period marks the end of the matter. An ellipsis indicates that there is more to come, or that more must be done. The three dots prompt us to wonder, “Now what?” They represent a step toward peace, a mission of mending. First and foremost, we want to stay on track, moving ahead rather than backward. Regardless matter the gravitational pull the sin has on our pride, we want to pray, “Lord, I forgive.” Help me with my unforgiveness.”
In his first epistle to the church in Corinth, Paul discusses a man who had done a heinous sexual transgression (1 Corinthians 5:1). The larger issue was the church’s tolerance of that immorality, as well as a lack of compassion for the sinner and the body. Paul asked them to address the issue and remove the man from the church as a kind of church discipline (1 Cor. 5:2-5).
Clearly, the man responded to discipline by seeking healing with the church, despite his baggage, sin, and shame. We do not know all of the facts, but we do know that forgiveness was the appropriate reaction to his repentance and return. He who had been cast out by the church was now to be welcomed in and cared for with the comfort of the gospel.
How should they handle this man? Paul informs us:
The punishment delivered by the majority is adequate for such a man, therefore you should rather forgive and soothe him, should such a one be swallowed up in too much sorrow. As a result, I strongly urge you to reconfirm your love for him. (2 Cor. 2:6-8)
Forgiveness is not a period, but an ellipsis. A period marks the end of the matter. An ellipsis indicates that there is more to come, or that more must be done.
What does Paul highlight?
- The Greek word for “forgive” is charizomai. It means to show grace, to give the man something he does not deserve and cannot earn, to bless rather than blame. While Aphiemi acts to abandon an offense so that it can no longer be used as leverage against the other, Charizomai seeks to extend grace, so setting a new trajectory for the relationship. To forgive is like planting your foot in the turf to shift direction.
- The man who has been convicted of sin needs the gospel’s solace and the merciful embrace of other sinners saved by grace. The word could also be interpreted as encouragement, so that he is not crushed by the weight of grief for his mistake. Later in 2 Corinthians, we gain a sense of the strong conviction of godly sorrow and the deep need for the Balm of Gilead to alleviate it (see 2 Corinthians 7:6-13).
- The goal is not to enable, excuse, or condone wrongdoing, but to extend Christ’s love in the gospel, which each of us is intimately familiar with and, if we think about it correctly, appreciates. Paul speaks of reinforcing their love, which implies reaffirming it via both word and behavior, as is how love is employed in conflict (1 Cor. 13:4-7).
Paul makes it plain that he agrees with the Corinthian church on forgiving this transgression (2 Cor. 2:10). He also highlights the current dangers of not forgiving, not loving, and denying the power of the gospel: “lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices” (2 Cor. 2:11). Do you see what’s happening? The church had turned the man over to Satan (1 Cor. 5:5), and they are not to return him now that he has been delivered from his folly. They are to greet him and console him with Christ’s peace.
We have a tendency to hear Paul’s statements on love, comfort, and care and think, “Yes, but…” Yet life after forgiveness demonstrates the promise and power of Christian forgiveness. God’s Word to us is this:
Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, who sealed you for the day of redemption. Let every bitterness, wrath, indignation, clamor, and ill saying be removed from you, along with all malice. And be gentle, tenderhearted, and forgive one another, just as God in Christ forgave you. (Eph. 4:30-32)
Love is the “what comes next” following repentance and forgiveness. “But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection” (Col. 3:14, emphasis added). We are supposed to put on love. Love fosters healing, promotes wholeness, and illustrates how God interacted with us (Rom. 5:8-9; 12:9-21).
